Victor couldn’t be sure the exact moment during his creation that it happened, but when he took his first “breaths” he could feel tender hands pulling his thread, ebbing love into every stitch they did. The room was warm, someone was laughing and holding him gently as they continued to stitch his neck together. His eyes being made of felt gave everything a bit of a soft appearance, but he could see well enough. Someone was smiling, talking to him as they worked. He was loved, he smelled like a rosemary garden and a bit of smoke, he had a heart- one made of flowers, trinkets, herbs, and fabric scraps- but a heart nonetheless.
It took a little time for him to be completed after he became aware of himself. The one creating him made his hair out of felt and clothes of fabric that were loved by someone before them. The moment the fur was sewn onto his jacket, he felt whole.
The lights in the room dimmed, the chatter between friends quieted, and he was held close to a beating heart as his creator fell asleep. He looked around at the other stuffed animals in the bed with him, taking in how he had a handmade rag doll-type appearance compared to the more pristine, mass produced stuffies around him. A toy dragon sniffed at him, curious at the newest arrival as a miniature horse tilted its head. Victor managed an awkward wave from where he was being snuggled, and one of the other plushies spoke up.
“You’re the one they were talking about then”, a purple and white tiger whispered, “the one they wanted to make?” Victor could assume that “they” referred to his creator, and he nodded.
“Do you have a name?”, asked the dragon, and Victor nodded again. His creator had been careful to write who he was on a piece of paper, slipping it into his heart so it was a part of him.
“My name is Victor, Victor Creed”, he whispered shyly. It was only his first night existing after all, he was still brand new. “I think they said I was meant to be someone from a comic?” The other stuffed animals murmured their own greetings, careful not to wake the exhausted student who held Victor in their sleep. He felt a kiss pressed to the top of his head as his creator rolled over, cuddling him more. One little action is all it took for him to feel completely and utterly loved.
Weeks went by, and Victor discovered his creator had a name: Aster! Not just that, but they had so many friends and people they knew that he got to meet! He was toted around proudly, and practically everyone that Aster knew got to hold him. Their friend from the little shop of trinkets was one of his favorites he got to see, and the whole shop radiated the same love that Aster held for him. Sure, the bag he was in could be a little cramped at times, but it was cozy.
He even got to go to work with Aster one day, and it was amazing how many more people he got to meet. One little kid called him cool, and it felt nice to know others liked him. If Victor was being honest though, it didn’t matter what other people thought about him as long as Aster loved him. Every time they held or cuddled Victor, he could feel that love burning brightly in his chest.
For a brief time, Victor noticed he was being left in the bag more and more, and he worried Aster had grown tired of him somehow. The bag was rather lonely and dark, and he could tell it wasn’t moving around as much as it normally would. It had been about three weeks, and Victor was almost positive that his creator had forgotten all about him, when he was pulled back into the light and held close against a beating heart. Aster had gotten badly sick, and not wanting a Velveteen Rabbit situation on their hands, they had left him in the bag to keep from getting germs on him.
In addition to freeing Victor from the bag, they had a surprise for him. A new plush was sitting in front of him, and he was placed on the table with the other plushie. This new plush was very obviously manufactured, as there were none of the loose threads or hot glue that made up Victor, the plush was more perfect aesthetically… however, being manufactured meant that the other plush didn’t have a heart like Victor, or the love in their stitching. He was beautiful, but he felt too perfect to have been made the way Victor was.
Aster cheerfully pushed the two plushies together, talking about how happy they were that Victor had a friend now and that he was with his friend. This gave Victor pause, as he knew his comic counterpart had someone named Logan that he cared very much about. The two waited until Aster had left the room before talking.
“Are you my Logan?” He asked rather bluntly, as he wasn’t sure exactly how else to start that conversation.
“You’d be right about that, bub.” The other plush gruffly replied. “Believe me, that mail truck wasn’t a smooth ride.”
Victor looked over Logan again. Even with his fuzzy vision he could see how clean and new the fabric on Logan was, how the fluff on his head was a nice texture to play with, and the way his eyes were pristine embroidery compared to his felt circles. Logan was pretty, yes, but he had a certain amount of sterileness to him that Victor hadn’t seen with any of Aster’s other plushies or figures. He wasn’t much for conversation either, simply sitting quietly next to Victor. This was fine in Victor’s eyes, as he often felt like he wasn’t very good at holding a proper conversation.
Over time, however, Logan started to open up a little more. He and Victor had been placed in a living room, so they had a prime viewing spot for all the going’s on during the day. Logan would often make comments about the chaos, watching Aster run around and clean up or the pets knock things over. Victor had soon discovered three things about his new friend: he liked the color green, was afraid of the family dog after witnessing her attack a plush named Quirrel, and that he wanted to see more of the world than the house next door and the house they lived in.
Since Victor couldn’t even be sure the next time Aster would bring him out, he decided to tell Logan all about the adventures he had outside, hoping to make him feel like he’d been traveling himself. He talked about the river, and monuments, and a park when he went down the slide. He would talk about tall campus buildings and coffee shops, car rides and the upstairs of a theater. Getting to see the sterile and stoic plush smile anytime he started another one of his stories made Victor’s heart feel warm.
One day, Aster came into the living room, rushing to leave the house, and they paused by the two plushies. After a moment’s decision, they plucked Logan off the shelf from his position next to Victor, shoved him into a tote bag, and ran out the door. Victor was stunned, he hadn’t actually been able to say goodbye and he wasn’t sure what Aster was doing. For the first time since he had been left in the bag, he felt scared and a bit alone.
Hours went by, and Victor had no one to talk to. No other plushies were in the living room, and the hedgehog decoration who was on the shelf near him wasn’t much in way of talking. She was a bit snobby and didn’t really reciprocate his desire for conversation. All Victor could really do was watch the cats run around like maniacs, leaping over tables and knocking things over. The orange one actually jumped up near him for a brief period, sniffing at him before losing interest.
That made him worry for a moment. What if he was losing his nice scent? Would Aster love him less if his rosemary smell went away? It had been quite a while since his creation, surely it couldn’t be that far gone. Was that why Aster took Logan and not him?
Victor cut himself off from the nasty train of thought quite quickly. Of course Aster didn’t love him less, and it wasn’t fair to be jealous of Logan. Victor had gotten to travel and explore a whole bunch, and Logan had only ever been in a shipping van. With that in mind, Victor eagerly waited for Logan to return with Aster.
He didn’t have to wait very long, it seemed, for Aster and Logan came home only an hour later. Logan was quickly returned to his place next to Victor, closer than usual as Aster felt guilty for separating them. Victor could tell there was something new about Logan, a sense of warmth and life in his eyes that wasn’t there previously. They seemed to sparkle as Logan took a “breath”, even though Victor knew that was impossible, and he could tell Logan was more animated than he had been the entire time he’d known him.
“It was amazing!” Logan all but shouted the moment Aster was out of earshot. “I went somewhere! I didn’t jus’ go anywhere bub, I met a real child!!” That would explain why his fabric was dingier than before, and his hair slightly sticky looking, Victor thought. Someone with little hands covered in juice had been hugging him.
“I got t’ go to a library an’ the kid held me the whole time, I don’t even care that I was dropped in juice! It was so much fun!” Logan beamed at him, and Victor could tell he was feeling the same warmth that he felt anytime Aster held him. “There’s a whole world outside! A whole world I could see from a stroller!”
Victor listened to his friend talk all night, loving how happy he was. For the first time, he was starting to feel more alive. It made Victor wonder if plushies who were manufactured needed more love to become “alive”, and if being loved by a child was more powerful because they had a stronger imagination. Whatever the case was, Logan was full of joy and it was rubbing off on Victor.
The two of them settled into a routine for a while: Logan would go with Aster in the morning to work, Victor would hold down the fort, the two would be brought back together after Aster came home from work, and Logan would spend the rest of the day talking about his adventures with the child. Victor was enjoying the routine immensely, as he hadn’t been out and about in a good long while, and seeing Logan so full of life made his whole being feel more warm and fuzzy than usual. Every day it was something new. Monday was the library and a cafe, Tuesday was a petting zoo and movie, Wednesday there was an EMT demonstration for local schoolchildren, Thursday a concert, Friday a comic shop. No two days were the same, and Victor almost felt as though he was right there with them whenever Logan recounted his adventures.
A few weeks of this routine passed by, and Victor had gotten used to his and Logan’s nighttime ritual. One afternoon, Aster came home from work quite a bit later than usual, but Logan wasn’t with them. Victor assumed that Logan was just left in the bag and would be brought out soon. After a few hours had passed, Victor soon realized that Logan just… wasn’t with Aster at all. He could hear Aster talking to their parents at the table about how they might have to “get a new Logan, because the baby loved him so much.”
A new Logan.
No.
He didn’t get to say goodbye.
That’s not fair.
For the first time in his entire existence, Victor was angry with his creator. He wanted to yell at Aster, make him go get his best friend back, tell the baby to get their own best friend because Logan was his. Being a plush, however, meant that all his screaming was futile and went unheard. He wanted to cry. Victor had watched Logan become more and more alive, and he was just as alive as Victor was now. But he wouldn’t even get to tell Logan about it because he was gone.
He could hear Aster talk to their family about how it was like when he and Logan were separated in the comics, and they had the gall to laugh. How could they? Logan was all he had, his best friend, and they would just give him away and replace him? Victor didn’t want a new Logan, one who wouldn’t remember all of their talks and what they had done. He wanted his Logan back. It wasn’t fair.
His heart felt cold, and it was a horrible feeling. All he wanted to do was cry until there was nothing left to cry, felted tears or no. His stitching on his neck felt loose and uncomfortable, Aster hadn’t fixed it and he had no way of asking. Everything was falling apart and it felt like Victor’s whole world was ending.
He was so cold.
Suddenly, he was torn from his spiraling thoughts by gentle hands grabbing him and holding him tightly. A beating heart was close to him, he could feel it. Aster was… crying? They were whispering to him, apologizing, explaining themself to him. They cupped his cheek and wiped away tears that couldn’t fall due to his plush nature. He was held close, and Aster explained that Logan was left when they had to leave so the kiddo would be happy, that they didn’t want to recreate his “canon event” of losing Logan. The parents were getting the kid a new Logan, not Aster, meaning Logan was coming home the next day. Aster continued to cuddle Victor, noticing the torn neck and they started apologizing more.
“I can’t believe I didn’t notice that! You poor thing… I’m so sorry. I’ve been so busy, I’m so sorry. I’ll ask my grandmother to borrow her sewing kit in the morning. I promise I’ll fix you Vicky.” Aster mumbled through minor tears, pressing a kiss to Victor’s felt hair.
Aster hadn’t forgotten. They never had. Warmth slowly filled Victor as he was held and cherished again, promises of returning Logan to him and fixing his stitching reminding him how treasured he was. All was right in Victor’s little world when Aster fell asleep holding him, having been cuddling him on the couch. He missed Logan, but he was much more relieved about him coming home the next day rather than never getting to see him again.
Much to Victor’s relief, Aster kept their promise. He was promptly repaired the next morning, a little extra rosemary added to him while he was being repaired so he smelled good as new. He was placed in a new spot so he could look around from a different angle, and he got to see birds landing on the front porch and the rain while Aster was working. He received a kiss on the head before Aster left, and he enjoyed the quiet day that followed.
Upon Aster’s return, he was thrilled to see they had Logan in tow. He was a little damp, but other than that he was right as rain. Instead of just setting Logan next to him, Aster set the two plushies close enough they could hold hands, and they smiled as they walked off to do whatever humans did. Victor nuzzled himself close to Logan.
“I MISSED YA!” He shouted, happily making himself comfortable. “I was worried ya would never come back!” Logan laughed, the pseudo sparkle in his eyes glittering at him.
“I wasn’t gonna be gone forever bub, I promise! I missed you last night too!” Logan returned Victor’s gesture and nuzzled closer. He was warm like Victor.
“That enough adventure fer ya for a while?”
“Yea, after a whole night with the kid, I think M’ adventured out fer a while.”
Once Logan had told him all about the day, the two of them sat in a familiar, comfortable silence, just happy to be in each other’s company again. Victor chuckled to himself when he saw Logan start to “doze”, realizing that whoever the doll that kid ended up with became, they were gonna have a run for their money with the constant adventures.
For Victor, all he really needed was Logan, Aster, and the occasional adventure. They were “alive” as toys could be, and they were happy with how lucky they were to have a life so peaceful and full of warmth.